Conveniently Green
March 11th, 2013
Aesthetics and ignorance are the fierce current driving the American culture to the edge of their existence. Easily swayed by partial information on social issues; we glom onto trends and movements with the external, spoken intention of the betterment of humanity. However, the dedication to the cause typically ends when people find themselves in a position where they may have to sacrifice convenience and luxury.
Take for instance, a group I like to call the Organic Narcs. This group is comprised of a hybrid of environmentalists, animal rights activists and leafy green eating–organic consuming vegetarians. They lease a prius, skip meat, praise their body as a temple and side-eye anyone with a variant point-of-view. These judgemental conservationists consume eggs and dairy, drink water that increases intelligence and wear only lululemon to the gym. They maintain a non gmo, organic, gluten-free diet, filled with eye-rolls for anyone who can’t or worse, won’t mimic their lifestyle choices.
The corporate marketing machine started a movement to remove bisphenol-A (BPA) from plastics…and the Organic Narcs ran with this notion, blowing up the media with fear tactics. Igniting the sales of BPA free consumer goods to a point where they were flying off the shelves left and right. Problem is, no one ever asked what BPA was being replaced with, and the answer is a compound called bisphenol-S, (BPS). In addition to being a similar acronym, they share a similar structure and versatility, and their effect on the human hormone response is so similar that basically nothing has changed. The only real movement to come about from this was in increase in plastic sales, which are PETROLEUM BASED, one of our most valued resources. How about finding a solution that doesn’t involve wasting what controls our transportation, AND WORLD ECONOMY?
Let’s learn how to truly commit to a cause, let’s drive a vehicle through it’s entire life cycle and not add to the massive amount of scrap metal. Let’s not purchase everything wrapped in plastic, even if it is GMO free, and if you are going to go all animal rights in your diet, go all the way vegan as eating eggs and dairy kills more animals on a calorie per life scale. Be truly brave. Make an impactful change.
Leave A Comment »
I Wanna Sext You Up!
March 6th, 2013
When someone asks you while sexting why you like to give him a blow job, the answer is not…”cuz I like snacks??” Shockingly, I learned THAT the hard way.
Dating in this new tech savvy world has led to all new types of sexy communication. I am mostly a virgin to all these new ways to get your rocks off, but I recently popped my sexting cherry. It was a total mess of sexy, steamy, awkward, anxiety-ridden, soft core, amateur, plagiarized porn. Yes, all of those adjectives apply.
It started out simple enough, where we were dancing on the line of light flirting and fun erotic banter that quickly catapulted into a very raw, impassioned and best of all x-rated dialogue. A language I am not even close to being a master of. I rarely even dabble in dirty talk. I quickly realized I was out of my league. I’m more a girl of action than talk, but am quickly realizing both skills are a crucial necessity.
Sweating, I began to perspire profusely, glowing with beads of water dripping from me. Not from the sensual nature of the conversation, but rather, from the absolute panic of unchartered waters. It was soon followed by tears, and not the cute kind. I was just a face full of snot, panic and hyperventilation, if this convo had progressed to skype, I would have been done for. P.S. Skype is the WORST! I have to get just as dressed up as I would for a date, but without any of the benefits of leaving the house like drinks, food or sex.
The actual responses were carefully crafted by utilizing all resources available. If there had been an acceptance speech associated to executed sexting on my part it would have gone something like this:
I would like to thank the internet, specifically Google, and 50 shades of Grey for getting me through this. Oh…and the Lord our Savior for making communication so depersonalized and superficial we no longer rely on the crutches of body language or tone to communicate.
Now if women can just figure out how to orgasm via this form of communication instead of spending days with our girlfriends interpreting the final “I just came” text to find it’s hidden message, we may truly be able to achieve world peace. Amen.
1 Comment »Nothing To Do With Sports
November 12th, 2012Had the pleasure of joining one of my favorite Dj’s this past week on ESPN Radio, follow the link to hear the recorded version, we talk relationships, orgasms and everything in between, just not anything to do with sports…of course: http://dugless57.hipcast.com/deluge/95a15a43-8124-bf00-5401-0ef1da12a0f2.mp3
