I have to find some way to get off the cookies…they are ruining my everything! I’m not saying cookies are bad, I’m saying my current relationship with the cookies is bad. And I don’t want to get to that point, I respect them and their place in society. I just see them taking all the same turns as every romantic relationship I have ever had….In the beginning, dressing up is still fun and there is occasion for it, you really relish every first moment…you talk about it with your friends. Then eventually, your wearing sweatpants all the time, you don’t even really want them around, but you are used to having them around, so you still nibble on them a bit. You start to settle on sale cookies, and I don’t want to settle…I want a spectacular cookie, and if I have to wait around for it till my body is back to bangin shape…I will!
I get to this point probably once a year or so where I get disgusted with my diet. Maintaining a daily intake of calories is one of my OCD issues, but I also love sweets, so if I have any, it is in exchange of healthy, nourishing food. Pretty soon, all I’m eating is sweets because they are easy to grab, there are insane cravings for them, and they are just tasty! But there are sooo many downsides, my brain slows. way. down., sleep is not as fulfilling, and I just feel bad about myself. I also start to become an unhealthy exerciser. I get insane about it which just adds to the downward spiral.
Easily annoyed with my own imperfection, and feeling unhealthy, I stomp my foot (to myself cuz I’m single, thanks for the reminder), and make a change. I have tried many tactics to break my addiction, but the one that is tried and true for me, is doing a liver flush. Mostly because it is pretty balanced and makes sense. I am not forced to drink lemons and maple syrup for a an eternity, or just meditate and smell food through the hunger until you have a complete break and even start chewing on your chocolate colored couch because, well, you know…
Even though there is still some sustenance involved, just purchasing the ingredients invoked delirium of the third degree. I picked up the organic apple juice with complimentary cold sweats, veggies came with light-headedness and I can’t even talk about what happened with the epsom salt…..but I have to do it. I consider this cleanse therapy and can’t wait to truly enjoy my black and white cookie again….Day one, lezdothis!Leave A Comment »
My best friend Briana, aka Breezy did not believe me when I had originally told her that I randomly glance at the clock at exactly 9:26 either in the morning, or the evening, and sometimes both times, every… single… day. That is enough to drive a girl crazy, but in the spirit of sharing (cuz sharing is caring), I started contacting her via text, phone, social media, with every glance, and she soon was not only convinced of my plague, but inadvertently joined me in this affliction.
I don’t know the exact moment this started, but I do know it was around the time my oncologist unilaterally decided to turn me into a bulimic. Yep, I had breast cancer at the lucky age of 20. I say lucky because I was too young and naive to think I was going to get anything but better…and I really feel that was what cured my disease. I guess I can give some props to the vomit-inducing chemotherapy, skin-irritating radiation and femininity-stripping double mastectomy…(who else do you know that would go to such great lengths for an insurance-funded boob-job?!).
Even though I walked away with complimentary “enhancements”…
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The love I have for these cookies cannot be expressed with words. My love for these little pieces of heaven almost broke me out of a relationship…
I was dieting for a fitness show, and had given up all foods with carbohydrates, calories and taste. Unfortunately, the precious cookie fell under the “restricted” category. The boyfriend, at the time, took me to the mall to help him pick out some clothes during my limited time away from a treadmill. While traveling between clothing stores, we passed by the glorious Mrs. Fields…yummm…I had to stop to appreciate the aroma surrounding its glass case of goodies. At that time, the boyfriend had a moment of brilliance and went up and purchased one of my favorite cookies for himself to enjoy and for me to watch him enjoy. Now I don’t know if you as a reader have ever been on a calorie-restrictive diet, with your calorie expenditure being greater than your intake…but if you have, you know that after a few days, this will make you crazy!
The first bite he took into the cookie, I was thinking, “there is no way this is happening.” Second bite, “oh my gosh, this isn’t a dream, that is really my favorite cookie he is eating.” Third bite, “This a– has the audacity to eat my favorite cookie in front of me….aaaaaahhhhh.” The remaining bites become blurry as I half-way yell at him about his choices and all the way start balling in the middle of the mall. Moral of the story, never help your man shop for clothes, it will end in tears…Leave A Comment »